In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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