I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
