I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
