my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
