READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
