last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
