clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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