respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
