dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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