just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
