can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
