I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
