Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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