You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
