Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
