the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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