Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I am full of burrito and curiosity
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
