LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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