I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
