Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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