omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She bit a glass in half.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
