I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
