So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
