There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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