The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
