yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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