white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My feet surprised me
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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