can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
