New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You smell like stripper and shame
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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