Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
