If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
