I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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