You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
