I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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