are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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