so that wasnt chicken after all
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
you never un-have a 4some
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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