I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
