How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
