those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
