i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
