Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
