i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
