Dual....:-)
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
how drunk are you?
Several
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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