end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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