so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
