I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
