i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
