My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
