Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
