you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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