To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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