So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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